196 ⎸ The Comeback Blueprint: What Every Ambitious Man Needs to Hear with Cletus Coffey

Hey ambitious bookkeepers!

Have you ever felt like you were chasing all the wrong things in your business and life? Maybe you've been measuring success by your bank account, achievements, or material possessions, only to find yourself feeling empty despite "winning" by society's standards.

In this powerful episode, I sat down with Cletus Coffey, former professional athlete turned entrepreneur and single dad. Cletus shares his raw, unfiltered journey from sports glory to entrepreneurial rock bottom, and how he ultimately discovered the secret to true fulfillment.

Listen here or on your favorite podcast player, or watch the video version on YouTube >>

Now let's dive into some highlights!

From Pro Sports to Rock Bottom

Cletus's story begins as a college athlete who managed to live his dream of playing professional football in both the Canadian Football League and Arena Football League. But when a broken leg ended his career at 28, he found himself with a résumé that said little more than "degree and football player."

"I went from being on ESPN and people calling me asking for tickets, to crickets. No one's calling me, and I'm parking cars, thinking 'this is not the way I'm supposed to be,'" Cletus shared.

His first foray into entrepreneurship was driven purely by desperation—chasing money without purpose or alignment. This led him into partnerships with what he later discovered were "three convicted felons" involved in shady business practices.

"I was desperate. I was lost. My ego was all about the money, and I was attracting that kind of lower frequency type people into my world," he admitted.

The Wake-Up Call We All Need

The 2008-2009 recession became Cletus's unexpected savior. He lost everything—his business, his marriage, his sense of identity—and found himself in a fetal position, wondering what to do next.

It was during a dark, rainy Seattle night after dropping off his sons that Cletus had his pivotal moment.

"I sat there and I just remember the very first time going, 'someone, please come open my door right now and save me,'" he recalled. "As soon as I said that, it just hit me—no one's coming. No one's literally gonna come save me. I gotta do it."

This realization sparked the competitor in him. Instead of continuing to chase external definitions of success, he turned inward. For two and a half years, he focused solely on himself—not dating, not pursuing business deals—just relentlessly working on becoming the man capable of creating the life he truly wanted.

The Achievement Addiction

One part of our conversation that hit particularly close to home was our discussion about achievement addiction. As someone who's always been driven to achieve, I've found myself falling into this trap repeatedly:

"Anytime I felt uncomfortable about what was going on in life, just go to work. That was me. And so starting my own business was a huge exercise in undoing that and catching myself when I started defaulting to that."

Cletus highlighted how our society conditions this addiction from childhood:

"When your child comes home from a game you didn't attend, what's the first question you ask them? 'Did you win?' We go straight to the scoreboard. If they win, it's hugs and kisses. If they lose, it's 'what happened?' We're conditioning our young people that love is conditional on achievements."

This pattern carries into adulthood, where success is defined by material possessions, job titles, and bank accounts—things we ultimately cannot control.

The Five Pillars Framework

What I love about Cletus's approach is that it's not just philosophical—it's practical. Through his company Torch Training, he guides men through mastering what he calls the five key pillars:

1. Focus - Emotional intelligence and mental clarity
2. Family - Relationships and connections
3. Fitness - Physical health and wellbeing
4. Fortune - Business and financial health
5. Foundation - Spiritual connection and higher purpose

His Morning Mastery Challenge particularly resonated with me. Participants complete two tasks in each of these five categories every morning, creating a foundation of self-care before tackling the demands of the day.

"What can I do for me that allows me to show up as the man that I know I am and want to become before I start my day?" Cletus explained. "I'm gonna do all this for me so that at the end of the day, I don't show up after work going, 'I haven't worked out, I haven't done any reading for myself.' Now I'm present."

Creating Your Life First, Then Your Business

Perhaps the most powerful shift in Cletus's approach to business came when he flipped the traditional entrepreneurial script:

"Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna create the lifestyle that I want, and then I'm gonna fit my business into it. Versus my old way which was, I'm just gonna create this business, scale it, make the money, and then figure out how to take care of my broken relationship and the fact that I haven't worked out in three months."

This resonates deeply with how I work with my clients. We first determine what kind of life they actually want—how much time they want to be working, what they want to be doing when not working—and then build a business model around that vision.

Yes, this approach might mean slower growth, but as I reminded Cletus: "You can't get that time back with your kids, and no one is ever on their deathbed wishing they worked more."

The Path Forward

What makes Cletus's story so powerful is that it's not about abandoning ambition—it's about redirecting it toward what truly matters. It's about understanding that focusing on yourself isn't selfish; it's in your best interest.

"I believe that focusing on me is not selfish. It's in my best self-interest," Cletus emphasized. "It's the whole 'in the airplane, put the mask on you first before you put it on anyone else.' I gotta make sure I'm solid."

For any entrepreneur feeling stuck in the achievement loop or struggling to find meaning beyond the scoreboard, Cletus offers this perspective: There are only three things we can truly control—our attitude, our effort, and our response. Everything else is outside our control.

When we focus our energy on these three elements and build a foundation of self-knowledge and self-care, we create the capacity to not only achieve success but to actually enjoy it.

Your Turn to Rebuild

If Cletus's journey resonates with you, I encourage you to check out his resources at CletusCoffey.com. Whether you're a single parent, an entrepreneur, or simply someone who feels lost in the pursuit of achievement, his frameworks offer a practical path forward.

What one small thing could you do tomorrow morning for yourself before diving into work? Start there, and see what shifts.

Connect with Cletus Coffey

💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/cletuscoffey/

💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/torchtraining/

📱 Instagram: @cletuscoffey

Connect with The Ambitious Bookkeeper®

🌐 Website: ambitiousbookkeeper.com

👩‍💻 Blog: ambitiousbookkeeper.com/blog

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💼 LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/SerenaShoup

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